“When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.” - Dr Wayne Dyer

Judgment – Why do we do it. Why do we feel like our standards are the standards that all others must live by?

Today I worked in a different office where I knew no one. I was introduced to everyone and noticed a middle aged woman with an undercut. I thought, cool, power to your individuality.

As the day progressed, I listened to my Oprah Super Soul Sunday podcasts though my earphones and I paused it to get more tea. As I sat am my desk, I head the women mention a Facebook post she saw of her friend’s son’s dinner dance. She mentioned how she saw the photo of her friend with her son, then the next photo with the son and his mates and then the next photo of his son with a girl who was clearly pregnant.

She laughed and said “clearly she (her fb friend) hadn’t taught his son about contraception as he got his girlfriend up the duff”. She then proceeded to critique the young woman’s dress saying that it was far too tight and small and wouldn’t have suited her even if she wasn’t pregnant and that if it was any shorter, you would be able to see her genitals. She didn’t’ use the word genitals.

I paused and took a breath.

There were so many triggers in her 2-minute outburst that the old me would have said something. The triggers were the teenage pregnancy, which I had experienced in my life. The opinion on the young woman’s attire, she should be able to wear whatever she wants if it makes HER feel good. The bitching about her friend, saying mean things about a person she supposedly has some level of love for.

The but the more present me took a breath and paused and thought, why?

Why does she feel the need to judge these people who are her “friends”? Why does she believe that her opinion is right?

In the 2 minutes this woman gave me a valuable lesson about Self-reflection and Projection.

In my moment of self-reflection, I was able to let go of the heat in my chest that I felt when I heard her talk these nasty words. I was able to choose how the moment made me feel and choose to let it go.

During the self-reflection I realized why she said these things. I remembered a quote I read “The reason people don’t like you is because they are jealous of you or they don’t understand you “The judgement was the mirror of her own insecurities.

The moment is gone, the words disappeared but I think of the young women... I hope you felt beautiful xx

Picture: Todays sunrise ❤️